MR KIM’S EXPENSIVE FIREWORK: THE UNHA 3

On Thursday 12 April North Korea launched a much hyped rocket, the Unha-3, which, so we are told, was part of their planning to be able to launch and orbit intercontinental ballistic missiles capable of carrying nuclear warheads. 

In the days before the launch various “lucky” foreign journalists were allowed into North Korea, and had been given a train trip out to the site of the rocket launch in the north west of the country.  Snapshots of the train trip revealed despairing landscapes with peasants toiling in distant fields in a grim eastern dystopia. Journalists were chaperoned around by robotically crisp and expressionless guards in sharp green uniforms no doubt selected to convey an impression of ruthless efficiency and order. Unfortunately for the North Koreans, such displays of efficiency and obedience are easier to ensure in soldiers than annoying and expensive missiles.

The brief film clips of the launch site itself suggested it was in a remote location, well away from prying eyes or concentrations of starving, desperate people. The rocket gantry hardly inspired much confidence – not quite tomato boxes and chicken wire – but a rather odd looking contraption that looked like something out of laughably bad 1960’s sci-fi.

The launch represented the latest Kim’s first club-footed foray into international diplomacy and induced the predictable hand wringing and protests from his neighbours, save for his loyal ally, China.  The rocket and launch were also in part to honour the memory of Kim’s grandfather Kim ll-sung’s 100^th birthday and who remains their “eternal” president (see 3 Kims for the price of 1).

Predictably, the whole thing was over almost as quickly as it began. Between 90 seconds and 3 minutes after launch the wretched thing plopped harmlessly down into the Yellow Sea without even getting into orbit. This is acutely embarrassing for North Korea, particularly since Unha means Milky Way, and, for all intents and purposes, it could hardly have got any closer to the Milky way if it had instead saved us all the bother and politely fallen out of its gantry. Japan added to the indignity by referring to the mighty Unha’s fate  as “some kind of flying object from North Korea….fell down into the ocean”, just as if it were an oversized, misbehaving Roman Candle; just a very expensive firework then....

 Laughable though all this may be, its consequences may be much more serious. A humiliated dictator is an unpredictable and dangerous beast. Will he now press ahead with more missile testing or underground testing of his bombs? China too will have been, privately, seething – an unreliable rocket could easily come down on its heavily populated lands. Is there now a risk that China will help Kim No 3 build a more reliable rocket, if only to ensure it’s not the unintended recipient of such a rocket’s payload in future?

For the moment though, Mr Kim’s temper will hardly be improved by the thought that the only place he can detonate one of his nuclear bombs with any certainty is in his own country. Even still, that’s hardly a comforting thought for people ruled over by a madman…..