POPE EXORCISES A DEMON AND CASTS OUT COMMON SENSE

When first hearing about this, I thought he had expelled poor Silvio from Italy. But no, it was a real demon, apparently. I didn't know they still went in for that sort of thing anymore – hadn’t it been quietly phased out along with witch-burning and blood sucking leeches. But apparently not, for yesterday Pope Francis was seen to place his bare hands on the head of a disabled and troubled man in a wheelchair and perform what looked suspiciously like some kind of exorcism ritual. And it was in Saint Peter's Square too, which I thought was a bit of a cheek. Imagine that, some devil or demon daring to go into the Pontiffs front garden, so to speak, and inhabit a worshiper. Whatever next, are we safe nowhere?

 

Well, when it saw all the press reports, the Vatican clumsily sought to deny it was an exorcism and claimed the Pope had only intended to pray for the troubled man. Perhaps he had, perhaps he hadn't, who knows. Far more likely than demon possesion though is some kind of mental affliction for which prayer, exorcism and other assorted forms of medieval quackery are no substitute for proper medical attention. More troubling though is that in this day and age belief in demons still exists alongside neuroscience and nanotechnology.

 

On another point, quite bizarrely every Catholic diocese is supposed to possess (whoops... no pun intended) at least one exorcism expert. Strange then that these supposed experts at identifying the manifestations of the devil have been so singularly and spectacularly unsuccessful at rooting out those evil, child molesting colleagues in their midst, many of whom have it transpires been concealed by the Church itself......

Also see "Vatican Vacancy and "The Long Shadow Of The Dark Ages"

ITS EUROVISION 2013… run, run, run….

Ok, time for something light-hearted. It’s Eurovision - a blogger's dream come true. Not to be taken too seriously at all, Eurovision is a light-hearted parody of art, a tounge in cheeck (well, for some) celebration of wafer thin music, of computer generated soulless Euro pop so lightweight it is gravity defying, like a bubble blown by a child in a park on a sunny afternoon. It’s a competition where the nations of Europe, and some more, compete to see who can deliberately trot out the most vacuous and shallow pop song possible, where winning invites good-hearted ridicule and where coming last is a secret blessed relief…where "Pont-l'Évêque"* level cheesiness becomes an art form in itself.

I managed to sit through the first hour, it went something like this....
 

France

Bursting out of the starting blocks, France was first up in the form of a loud rather shouty female who yelled and waved her head around like a mad headbanger. Perhaps it was avaunt garde industrial disco, who can tell? There was some weird thrashing around to some scittering drum machine, much yelling and not much else. Rather good by Eurovision standards then.

Lithuania

Second up but so immediately forgettable I cannot recall a single thing about it. They could be on to a winner here.

Moldavia

Where exactly is Moldavia?  Oh, don’t worry, for this was Eurovision pop fodder of the first order. That means it was unintentionally hilarious. A singer emerged who looked like an angry, botoxed fairy stranded on top of a luminescent wedding cake. Supporting her were a troupe of backing dancers in shiny pure white outfits who energetically leaped about in regulation Eurovision fashion. This requires that no notice whatsoever be taken of any beat or rhythm (ok, sometimes there isn’t any). Our expressionless fairy delivered a performance of such saccharine proportions that I could feel the enamel peeling of my teeth.  Fortunately, anticipating Eurovision, I had bought some Sensodene toothpaste earlier (especially for sensitive teeth and gums).

Finland

Eurovision exists to host the performance of songs like this. A blond looking like she was trapped in a hyper speed wind tunnel and dressed in what looked like a cross between a wedding dress and an aeroplane braking parachute belted out a number about (I think) gay weddings and ended the proceedings by kissing one of her female backing singers (think Madonna / Brittney revisited). This was Eurovision gold dust, the crowd went quite potty....sure to do well. Turkey banned the entire programme (lucky Turks) on the strength of this sinful kiss to avoid 2 seconds of terrible moral pollution having a deleterious impact on their ancient civilisation, not to mention those members of their citizenry watching television. This may well harm their application to join the Eurozone…

Spain

With a backing band of sorts, including some poor soul who drew the short straw and got to play something called a Spanish bagpipe (run for the hills), some floozy in a yellow dress butchered some ghastly ditty about heaven knows what. On each side she was supported by a bloke strumming a guitar, each one trying unsuccessfully to look like he was enjoying committing musical- career suicide in front of a TV audience of millions.

Belgium

A smug looking man-child with a “Justin Bieber on-speed” hairstyle and Labrador eyes crooned out some syrupy love song. The “backing dancers’ ” choreography was the only high point, being so terrible it became entertaining as they gave a reasonable impersonation of marionettes being electrocuted. Cheesiness award for the evening.

Belarus

This was another Eurovision to order performance. A singer who looked like a 6 foot perm-tanned Barbie doll emerged from a giant silver glitter ball dressed in what looked like the remains of a shredded Christmas decoration. More toe curling choreography, with blokes in white suits, (not that kind although men in white suite were surely needed by this point), doing clumsy schoolboy/ playground level cartwheels and late 70’s over the top disco gyrations.
 

Russia

This might have got passed the first round on X factor, which is more than most would have achieved thus far....

Germany

A towering frau with flowing golden locks tore through some forgettable number sung in faultless English, all against a backdrop of blinding purple strobes, flashing lights, glitter waterfalls, sparkling ticket tape and delirious, cheering crowds. This is sure to do well.

Armenia

I almost fell of the sofa. A song composed by Black Sabbath's Tony Iommi, which must surely be their first euro vision mention. The performance was quite good. It has little chance of winning. A real band on stage, a real drummer, real guitars, a couple of devil horns salutes thrown in for good measure and a guitar solo (5 seconds only please).....a  masterpiece by Eurovision's standards and on that note I decided to go out on a (quite legal) high and decided to call Eurovision 2013 a day.

 

* Pont-l'Évêque - rated the world's smelliest, stinkiest cheese.

Who won the North Korean War that never was?

So, who won the great North Korean War that never was? It's not that clear, save that China lost, at least in the short term. China could not control it's former friend North Korea. It was embarrassed that its influence was exposed as light, if not even feeble. The bankrupt and impoverished hermit kingdom thumbed its nose at the only country thought to have had any sway over it. Japan and all the other nations of south east asia will have seen and noted all this.

In fact, the sudden cessation of noisy rhetoric suggested that, like a naughty child, North Korea's Kim Jong-Un (Fatty the Third) has been "rewarded” in some way for turning down the volume and conducting the affairs of his state slightly less abnormally than has been his recent custom. The only country likely to have done that is North Korea's northern neighbour, China. His good behaviour would likely have been in exchange for food aid, financial aid and other packages to ease his position. The onlystring to the deal would have been not to have publicised China's largesse.

Fatty the Third might have emerged from this war of words intact, even with his internal reputation enhanced. However, he hasn't really emerged a victor, in that sense. Behind the scenes his only ally of note must be absolutely seething. Making an enemy of China is not particularly smart and there may well now be a reckoning as China must surely be thinking about their longer term relationship with North Korea and how this can be restructured to their advantage. How much longer can they tolerate him? Whether Fatty the Third figures in that future is a moot point. If he has a jot of common sense, he needs to do some urgent bridge building with his powerful neighbour.

For South Korea it's been an quite a good outcome too. They were seen to stand firm and did not give in to the normal temptation to reward North Korea's bad behaviour with aid sweeteners. The sunshine policy of trying to be matey with the monster next door has been put on the back burner - trying to appease tyrants and bullies does not work, as just a cursory glance at history would have informed them.

For the USA it's been quite a good non-war too. All the surrounding countries will have been alarmed by North Korea's aggression and China's seeming impotence when it comes to controlling Fatty the Third. On the other hand they will have been assured to some extent by the USA's presence and apparent willingness to do what was necessary in the event of a worst outcome scenario. This is in stark contrast to the dithering and vacillation over Syria where it's now almost too late to do anything constructive.

In the medium term it's probably also put China's attempts to reassure its nervous neighbours that it's a force for stability and peace in the region on the back foot. Those neighbours may now start looking to the US for that assurance and sense of protection, as its pivots towards the east and the Pacific.

Interestingly, China has in the last few days, announced its claim on the Japanese island on Okinawa. Done obliquely through the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences,  an institution close to the Communist Government, this may well be part of the wider game being played over the spate of territorial demarcations stretcdhing to as far away as India. However, it's not insignificant that, in its report, the Academy refers to Okinawa as part of a former vassal state. Such a phrase will have been deliberate and loaded with nationalist implications, for it is the terminology used by imperial China in its heyday to refer to its supplicant and dependent neighbouring countries, including Japan, Korea, Vietnam, Thailand and others. These vassal states, in a semi feudal relationship, paid tribute to China in the form of materials and supplies that recognised its overall dominance and superiority.

So, whilst Fatty the Third might be going easy on the bloodcurdling rhetoric for now, China is sending out its own increasingly clear and confident signals for its long term aspirations. Along with new President Xi Jinping's promotion of the "Chinese Dream", the talk of rewriting borders and claiming former vassal states is tapping into a millennia old view of Chinese superiority and of China, the ancient Middle Kingdom and centre of the civilised world.  So, just as America pivots towards it, China starts to more openly pivot towards its century-long suppressed, but very much alive, dream of restoring the dominance of its imperial/Confucian past, dressed up in the (communist) emperor’s new clothes.

Also see North Korean Roulette and Fatty The Third